


i've been trying hard not to talk to you

by buckthegrump



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Modern AU, and by possible i mean for sure but i can't promise it will be good, heavily inspired by the hating game, idiots to lovers, past bullying, possible smut in future parts, we love a good boy, yes those are harry styles lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:34:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26831494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckthegrump/pseuds/buckthegrump
Summary: There's something to be said for a little friendly competition. But this isn't one of those stories, because they aren't friends and they're being forced to work together. Time after time. (Maybe that should've been the title.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

Y/n stared at her computer screen blankly. She only had a few hours left of work but nothing to work on, but she had to look busy. Not that her boss would mind if she relaxed for a moment. No, this facade was purely for James Buchanan Barnes, her office mate. An unfortunate circumstance for both parties.

Her fingers typed away at her keyboard, drafting an email to her old high school friend Wanda. It stated that despite what Wanda claimed, Y/n could think of no reason to find her way home for the ten-year reunion coming up in a few months. Something that could’ve easily been sent in a text, but she was playing a game with the man across the room.

A dangerous, tedious, unnecessary game of which nothing good could come. Yet they were playing it. Y/n wasn’t sure of the rules or the prize, but that wouldn’t stop her from playing.

“So, sunflower,” Bucky leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands behind his head. Y/n held back a sneer at the nickname he’d given her during his first week. “Care to share what that all-important email is about?”

She shot him a glare. He was in the corner of the room opposite the door facing her, who was opposite diagonally from him.

“I am corresponding with an old colleague on a project,” she lied smoothly.

Bucky snorted as he sat up straight again. A few seconds later, her computer pinged with an email alert.

**_Liar_ **

**_James B. Barnes, Proofreader_ **

**_Hill & Coulson Publishing_ **

It was instantly deleted, and Y/n glared at him over her computer screen. 

“Why are you wasting company time emailing me when you have work to do?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“That’s rich coming from you,” he muttered.

“I’m emailing someone who’s not currently in this room; you are wasting time sending me one worded messages. Don’t you have a manuscript to be looking over?”

“Oh, sunflower, I finished reading over that half an hour ago and sent it to Natasha.” He smirked at her. “What about your manuscript?”

“That’s none of your bee’s wax.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Are we in elementary school?”

She didn’t justify that comment with a response. Instead, she opened the response email she’d just gotten from Wanda.

**_As your friend, I feel it is my job to tell you that you are being a giant pussy. Pull yourself together and don’t make me go to this thing alone. And before you respond with, you won’t be alone; you’ll be with your husband. It won’t be the same, and you know that._ **

**_As for the issue of you being single (which I know will be your fall back excuse), find a man who’s willing to fake it. Or, here’s an idea, go out on a fucking date. December is literally months away. You have plenty of time to date someone long enough to bring him to the reunion._ **

**_Or you could bring your hot co-worker._ ** (Y/n gagged silently to herself knowing Wanda meant Bucky.)

**_At any rate, you are coming to the reunion, or I will kill you._ **

**_Also, why are we having this conversation via email?_ **

**_Wanda_ **

**_Best Friend_ **

**_P.S. Before you even think about RSVPing, no, I’ve already said yes for you. Sorry._ **

Y/n sighed. She had an excellent reason for not wanting to show up to that reunion. Not to mention she really didn’t feel like reliving the worst years of her life while some of her classmates got to relive their glory days. 

There was a part of her that wanted to walk in and prove to those assholes that she’d made it. She wasn’t anyone’s assistant anymore. She was living her dream of working at a publishing comp. And (most importantly) she hadn’t gotten stuck in their relatively small town selling makeup as some sort of pyramid scheme. So she would go, boyfriend or not. She’d complain most of the time, but for Wanda, she would go.

The clock hit 5:30, and Y/n logged out of her computer and nearly ran out of the office. 

Bucky was hot on her heels as she walked towards the elevator. They didn’t speak a word to each other as they waited. Y/n could feel the coworkers’ eyes who were still in the office on her back.

The two of them had become somewhat of a spectacle over the years. It became an on-going joke the fact that they shared an office. And an intern. But Peter was out of the office that week, so they had to manage on their own. And it was only Wednesday. 

“Hey Y/n,” Jill from finance walked by.

“Hi, Jill,” Y/n smiled at her.

“You excited for the company trip next weekend?” Jill beamed as Y/n groaned. “That’s what I thought. Have a good night!”

“You too,” she called back half-heartedly as Jill walked away.

Finally, the elevator doors opened, and Y/n and Bucky walked in. Y/n stood in one corner, and Bucky stood in the other. Y/n picked at a piece of lint on her long gray peacoat that was draped over her arm. The October air had a bite to it after a long and grueling summer.

The doors closed, and they rode to the lobby in silence. They worked on the fifteenth floor, and at about floor ten, Bucky opened his mouth, breaking routine, and began to speak.

“You don’t like company trips?” He asked, leaning against the wall in that cocky way that men liked to do. “That seems like the type of thing that you would love.”

Y/n glanced at him from the corner of her eye with her nose scrunched, upset that she was stuck talking to him.

“If you must know,” she huffed, “normally it’s not that big of a deal. But we’re going to the beach in October. It’s gonna be cold, and I frankly don’t want to do any team-building exercises at the beach. The beach should be a place for relaxing, not for doing things. Besides, why do you care what I do or don’t like?”

“If I know what you don’t like, it makes my job easier,” he said simply.

“Oh, you mean making my life a living nightmare?”

He winked at her. “Exactly that, sunflower.”

Y/n crossed her arms, saying nothing as she stared at the floor number as it slowly counted down.

“Why are you going to the lobby?”

Y/n rolled her eyes. Sometimes the mere sound of his voice was enough to nudge her over the edge.

“My friend needed to borrow my car because her’s is in the shop. And I don’t mind walking to work,” she didn’t bother mentioning that she would have to walk to and from work for the rest of the week, possibly longer if the parts to Carol’s car didn’t come in as soon as the mechanic said.

“It’s really windy outside, I can give you a ride home,” he offered.

Y/n gave him a look. She couldn’t tell if he was being genuine or not. Luckily the doors opened, and Y/n cackled as she walked out of the elevator.

She put on her coat and positioned her handbag over her shoulder before opening the front doors. Yes, the forecast had said that there would be high winds, which is why she hadn’t worn a skirt or a dress, but it still pissed her off that Bucky had been right.

Maybe she’d take the bus home.


	2. Chapter 2

Peter Parker lucked out in Y/n’s eyes. He was a  _ paid _ intern. The paid internships when she had first started looking into publishing companies had been few and far between. But they had since changed their ways, lucky for him. She knew that he still lived with his aunt and helped out with the bills, and he was the sweetest kid.

Sorry, not a kid. Or so he reminded her every time she called him that. But Bucky got no back talk when he called Peter kid. Any time Y/n pointed that out, Bucky said it was because Peter had a crush on her, there were a few flaws with that logic. The first one being, no one had a crush on her. Not ever. She hadn’t even ever dated anyone, and she was almost 28 years old.

The second problem being that - no, just that.

Not that any of that mattered. What did matter was that it was Monday, and that meant that Peter was back. Thank the lord because Y/n was about to go crazy if she had to go another week without some sort of buffer between her and Bucky. He’d been incredibly annoying last week.

“Hey, Peter!” Y/n called, and not three seconds later, Peter was standing at her office door out of breath. 

“Yeah, boss?” He smiled at her.

“Is everything ok?” He nodded, still smiling. Y/n wasn’t sure if he ever didn’t smile. “Ok, well, I was supposed to be getting a package from -”

“From R.R. Willamson, yes, I think someone just dropped it off at my desk -” Peter looked as if he was about to run off back to his desk.

“Parker,” she stopped him, and he looked at her, “You don’t have to run. No one’s going to fire you or take your internship away if you walk to do your job.”

“Yes, boss,” he nodded. And he started to walk away, got about three steps, and ran the rest of the way. 

That kid was always go, go, go. And at some point, this kid was going to have to slow down. He ran back, but before he got to the door, he slowed down to a walk, and as casually as he could, walked over to her desk.

“You’re not fooling anyone, and thank you,” she reached out her hand as he handed the package to her.

Y/n often didn’t like to do a read through on the computer. She would get constant headaches staring at the screen. So she did a lot of her work on paper before making the edits on the computer. And she had a pair of blue blocker glasses that she kept in her drawer at work, not that she wore them all that often with Bucky sitting so close to her.

Speaking of Satan’s right-hand man, where was he. It was almost eleven, and she hadn’t seen him all day, meaning he was late. But why? Did he have an appointment? Was he sick? Not that she should care. No, she should focus on doing her fucking job.

“Stop running in the office, Parker,” she called after him as he walked out of the office, “one of these days you’re going to run into someone, literally.”

“Yes, boss.”

“You can call me Y/n,” she said.

“Yes, boss.”

Y/n rolled her eyes as she opened up the envelope. 

* * *

The hours seemed to tick by, and she was having a hard time focusing on the words in front of her. She hadn’t even made it through half a page.

She looked at the clock, 11:30 am.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She whined and slammed her head on her desk.

“Ahh, sunflower, had I known that my absence was going to drive you to insanity, I would’ve left you all alone much sooner. Did you miss me?” Bucky’s voice filled the room.

Y/n groaned into the paper, unwilling to look up to her office mate. If this last half-hour was any indication as to how the week was going to go, this was gearing up to be the longest week of her life.

“Yes, here you are. And my life is so much better now that you’re here and back at the office,” she said, sarcastically lifting her head slightly, “oh, please take me away from this place and be my part-time lover.”

“Awe,” Bucky patted the top of her head.

“Binky get your hands off of me,” she snarled.

He groaned at the nickname, Y/n smiled to herself. She thought of that nickname after she had babysat her niece, Monica, and watched Arthur. And on that glorious children’s TV show had a character called Binky Barnes. She didn’t use it often, but his reaction to it always made her happier.

Bucky sat down at his desk and started typing away at his computer.

“Hey, kid!” He called after a few minutes.

It took Peter a few seconds longer than usual. Y/n was about to be proud of him for not running over. But clearly, his delay was because he was further away than usual. He showed up at the door, looking disheveled.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.”

Without looking at the poor boy, Bucky held out a pile of small envelopes. “Take these down to the mailroom.”

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” Peter grabbed the mail and walked away.

“You could be nicer to him, ya know,” Y/n told him.

“If I wanted your opinion of how to treat my employees, I’d ask. But alas, I didn’t ask, so keep it to yourself,” Bucky winked at her.

Y/n glared at him as she contemplated how to kill him. He continued to smirk at her, god did she hate him.

“Well, I’m just pointing out that if you’re nicer to the intern,” she leaned back in her chair. “Who’s internship ends at the end of October, by the way, and if we want him to come back to be our assistant, we have to be nice to him.”

Bucky let out a laugh. “There’s no worry about the kid coming back.”

“Why?” She asked, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted the answer.

“The kid is in love with you. It’s cute that you can’t see that. He practically worships the ground you walk on. Why do you think he runs in her any time either of us calls for him? Oh sunflower, you don’t realize the power you hold over that boy, do you?”

Y/n stared at him. The mere idea of Peter, really anyone, being in love with her, was laughable.

“First of all, using someone’s feelings against them to get what you want is terrible. Just be nice to him. Second of all, he’s not in love with me,” and because she couldn’t stop herself, she gave him finger guns as she said the next thing, “and my history would suggest that I am unloveable.”

Bucky’s face twisted into what she might have called confusion if she hadn’t known him any better.

“Anyway, be nice to the intern, he’s a good worker, and I don’t like how you’re treating him,” she continued before he could say anything.

“Are you in love with him?” Bucky chuckled. “Oh, sunflower, he’s a bit young for you, don’t ya think? It would be taking advantage of him if you decided to pursue that relationship.”

“You’re really funny, Binky. Binky Barnes,” she said, falling back on her true and true. “Binky Barnes, love expert. You should write a book. Maybe you might even be able to get it published.”

She beamed at him and gave him a wink. He huffed and turned back to his computer.

The rest of the day flew by after that. But all she could think about was what Bucky had said, more accurately what she’d told Bucky. About not being loveable, and the face he gave her after she said it.

It would’ve been so easy to not say anything.

“Is your car still in the shop?” Bucky asked as they rode the elevator together. Breaking their routine again. Or (the tiniest voice in the back of her mind interrupted) starting a new one.

“My car was never in the shop, my friend Carol needs to borrow it while her’s is in the shop,” she corrected. “She needs a way to pick up her kid. And I’m not making my niece suffer through this terribly cold autumn.”

“Are you going to continue being stubborn, or will you accept a ride home today?” Bucky asked.

Y/n furrowed her brows and looked him up and down. “This whole trying to be nice thing, it’s kinda scary.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but the doors opened on the lobby floor, and she walked away from her.


	3. Chapter 3

Y/n didn’t know how to make it any more clear that she did  _ not _ want to go on this company team building beach trip. Jill smiled at her earning herself a glare. They were all gathered int the parking lot at 8:30 in the morning because this was a weekend-long thing. Y/n loved both Maria and Phil, but part of her wondered how hard it would be to find another job at a different company that didn’t do weekend-long team-building things.

Everyone was trying to figure out who was driving and who was going in which car. Typically, Y/n would offer to drive, but Carol’s stupid car was taking much longer than it should. Why did she have to be such a good aunt? This would be so much easier if Carol didn’t have Monica to hold over Y/n’s head.

“Hey, boss,” Peter beamed. “You excited for the trip?”

She was forcing herself to be at least civil to him, but goddamn did he have so much fucking energy for this early in the morning.

“You could say that,” she answered. He held out a Starbucks cup. “I can’t drink coffee.”

“It’s a chai latte,” he says. “You don’t drink coffee because of anxiety, right?”

She held back tears (she had the tendency to be a bit dramatic in the mornings). “Peter, someday you are going to make someone very happy.”

He blushed and looked at the ground but didn’t walk away.

“Bucky, can you take Y/n and Peter?” Maria’s voice cut through the fog in Y/n’s brain. “They’re the only ones that still need a ride.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no,” Y/n whispered to herself.

“Sure,” Bucky shrugged as if he didn’t hate her. As if they didn’t spend up to eight hours a day getting on each other’s nerves.

Y/n opened her mouth to protest, but then everyone started putting their bags in trunks. She barely registered when Peter offered to take her bag to Bucky’s car. She told him that she could take her own luggage, but Bucky swooped in and grabbed the handles before she could.

“Come on, we don’t want to be late.” Y/n couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not as Bucky led them to the car.

Ten minutes later, they were on the road.

Peter had oh so graciously, let Y/n have shot-gun while he was seated in the back. Bucky, who drove a stick (because of course, he did) set up the music.

Bucky Barnes, who was already devastatingly handsome (in an unfortunate sort of way that made her want to fling herself off a cliff), didn’t need to be any hotter. And that’s where Y/n’s problem was. She had always thought that a man driving was unreasonably hot, especially if they were mostly calm as they drove. 

With any luck, Bucky would have major road rage, and she could switch with someone for the drive home.

The beach was about an hour’s drive. Y/n wondered how hard it would be to fall asleep, but she didn’t know if she could trust Bucky not to find a way to draw on her face or something. Maybe she should have let Peter sit in the front.

Ten minutes into the drive, Bucky dug out his phone from his pocket and handed it to Y/n.

“Can you -” he started.

Without thinking about it, she took it. “Sure. Why is Stark Industries calling you?”

“Ignore it,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

“Ya know, if you roll your eyes too much, they’ll get stuck in the back of your head. And that would end up being very boring for you because there’s nothing back there.” Y/n rejected the call. A few seconds later, it started buzzing again. Only this time, the contact read  _ Tony Stark _ . “Barnes, wh-wh-wh-”

“Is your brain not connected to your mouth right now? What’s going on?” Bucky chuckled.

“Why is the Tony Stark calling you? Why do you have Tony Stark’s number saved in your phone?”

“You know Tony Stark?” Peter spoke in awe.

Bucky ignored all their questions. “Will you answer it and tell him that I’m driving and can’t really talk right now?”

Y/n barked out a laugh. “I’m not answering the phone for the biggest tech genius in America. Do it yourself if your such good friends with him.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, again, not heeding Y/n’s warning. He grabbed the phone and answered. “Tony, I can’t really talk right now. . . Because I’m driving. . . I did. Monday morning. . . Bruce said it was fine -”

“Bruce Banner?” Peter asked in a hushed whisper.

“Tony. . . I told you I was busy this weekend. . . Yes, I can come to dinner on Thursday. . . I don’t know why you ask the answer is always no.”

Y/n strained her ears, trying to hear the second half of the conversation. Now she wished she had answered the phone.

Bucky lowered his voice a little. “No, I’m not going to do that. That’s one of the dumbest ideas you’ve ever had. I will see you Thursday.”

Bucky hung up the phone and put it in the cupholder between him and Y/n. The silence lasted all of three seconds before Peter started up again.

“So how well do you know Mr. Stark?” He asked.

“Considering that he just agreed to go to dinner with him on Thursday,” Y/n piped up, “I’d say they were in love.”

“That’s not what -” Bucky sighed. “I know him pretty well, kid. Why?”

“I applied for his internship, but I never got a call back.”

Y/n turned around in her seat and looked at him. “Peter, do you not like working here?” She shot Bucky a quick glare.

“No, it’s not that. I just - I’m more of a science person, and I just took whatever job I could get. This one paid the best, but I was really hoping that I would be able to work in the field that I actually want to go in.”

Y/n turned back around. “Told ya, you should be nicer,” she grumbled.

Bucky didn’t justify that with a response. The rest of the ride happened in silence, but Y/n really wanted to know what had happened Monday morning. Clearly, Bucky had some kind of appointment, which explained why he was so calm when he’d walked in late. She should leave it alone. He was allowed to have his secrets just as she was allowed to have hers.

* * *

Y/n had scolded herself about thirty times in the past twenty minutes. She couldn’t stop watching Bucky drive, because yes, he was very calm as he drove. It was really attractive, and his right hand would rest on the gear shift, and -

_ Get it together, Y/n. _ She scolded herself again. If she wouldn’t get car sick, she’d pull out one of the books she’d brought along for the weekend. She was trying to fall into one of her extensive daydreams when an all too familiar tune came out fo the car speakers.

_ Saw your body language, and I know how you feeling. You look like the kind of girl who’s tired of speaking. _

She bit back the laugh that was begging to be released. Glancing at the radio, she doubled checked that this was, in fact, his playlist and not the actual radio. She was struggling with whether she should say something or let it slide. Letting it slide was winning because she didn’t want to get kicked out of the car, but god bless Peter Parker.

“You like One Direction?” He asked a little too gleefully.

Y/n waited for Bucky to quickly change the song and grumble about it being on there because of his sister or an ex-girlfriend. But he didn’t.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy some of their songs,” he said simply.

Bucky said it so casually as if that wasn’t a surefire way to set her off. He needed to do something dickish so she could go right back to hating him. Hating him was as easy as breathing. It came naturally. This entire car ride was confusing the fuck out of her, and she didn’t particularly like it.

“Really?” Peter, who was sounding more and more like an excited puppy, asked.

“Yeah, my sister made me listen to them once, and I guess I just didn’t stop.”

Y/n bit the inside of her cheek.

“What?” Bucky asked. It took her a second for her to realize he was talking to her. “Are you gonna sit there and pretend that you don’t like them?”

“No, I just didn’t think that you would admit to liking one direction is all.”

“Well, sunflower, I guess there are still a few things you don’t know about me.”


	4. Chapter 4

They made it to the cabin site safely. 

Everyone had made it before them and had already divvied the cabins and teams for the weekend. While Y/n would be sharing a place with Natasha, her partner for the weekend would be none other than Bucky Barnes. That had Jill and Natasha written all over it.

Seeing as how it was still early in the day, they had an hour or so to get settled in their cabin before their first activity. So Y/n was in her cabin with Natasha.

“I know you’re behind it,” Y/n muttered. Both were sitting on their respective beds.

Natasha smiled. “It was Jill’s idea, I just talked to Coulson, and he agreed that the two of you could learn to work together better.”

“We share an office and haven’t killed each other yet; I’d say that we work together fine.”

Natasha snorted. “Please, at least once a month, the two of you get into a yelling match, scaring your poor intern who’s only trying to do his job. Not to mention that whenever I ask someone to take a manuscript down to you, their immediate reaction is to cringe and ask if they half to. Honestly, I’m surprised that no one died in that car on the way up here.”

“I still hate you for making me be his partner this weekend,” Y/n grumbled.

“It’s only two activities; the rest of the weekend, you can mope out on the beach with the book I know you brought.”

Y/n gave Natasha a half-smile. “I brought two.

“Of course you did,” Natasha said as she shook her head.

* * *

“Ok, so now that we’re broken up into teams, here’s how the game will work. One of you will be blindfolded, and the other will direct you through the maze. Both of you must make it through the maze to win,” Maria said.

“What’s the prize?” Someone called out from the back of the group.

Maria shot whoever it was a glare. “The prize will be revealed tomorrow night.”

“Sounds like an exciting way to say they haven’t figured that out yet,” Bucky said under his breath. Y/n bit back her smile, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of her thinking he could be funny; sometimes.

“Anyway, we are staggering the entrees to the maze, and you will be timed. The pair with the fastest time will win this game. Now we will start with group one,” Maria said.

Y/n glanced down at her paper. They were number 30, which meant they were close to last, if not, dead last. It also said that she would be the one blindfolded, which she wasn’t the least bit thrilled about. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Bucky; it was just she was 100% sure that he was going to leave her in the middle of the maze.

And if he did leave her in the maze, blindfolded or not, she would be fucked. If she couldn’t look at a map or hadn’t been able to walk the terrain before, she was shit at directions. It was one of the reasons she walked around a new city when she moved.

The maze was outside and just a quick walk from the campsite. It was made of hay, very on theme for October. But it also meant that they had built it higher than the average adult man, and there was no way to cheat their way out of it.

Y/n reached into her small backpack that she’d brought along and pulled out her book. She sat on a park bench near the maze entrance, which just so happened to be a slide. That made her more nervous because then she couldn’t just retrace her steps to the entrance; she would have to find her way out.

But, instead of worrying about all that, she read her book. She had barely made it two sentences in when she felt someone sit next to her. She didn't have to look to know it was Bucky, but she was just going to ignore him and hope that he didn’t try to talk to her. She would put up with a lot of bullshit, but interrupting her reading was where she drew the line.

He didn’t. He sat there staring at his phone, probably also reading, and didn’t say a word.

Then it was their turn to go in. Luckily they were allowed to go down the slide before she had to be blindfolded. One the other side of that coin, it was getting dark out, and Y/n wasn’t sure if they would finish the maze before it was dark out.

At the bottom of the slide, she put the stupid eye mask on, but before sliding it over her eyes, she looked at Bucky.

She opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it, and covered her eyes.

“Are you ready?” Bucky asked. His breath tickled her ear. She hadn’t realized he was standing so close to her. She nodded slowly, still not positive he was going to leave her behind. “Ok, just follow my directions.”

For what felt like three minutes, he gave her a steady stream of directions before he muttered a curse and stopped. She stopped walking and turned her head side to side as if she could tell which side he was on.

Buck didn’t speak for a long moment, and Y/n was starting to think he’d left her behind.

“Bucky?” She asked and was embarrassed by how scared she sounded.

“I’m here,” he said, and she let out a sigh of relief. “Did you really think that I would leave you behind?”

“It’s happened before,” she said simply, hoping that he wouldn’t ask questions.

“Well, lucky for you, I want that prize. I’m just trying to decide if we should go left or right.” It almost sounded like he was waiting for her to answer him. “Left.”

They continued through the maze much like they had at the start, with Bucky giving clear and concise directions, and Y/n blindly following them. 

“Shit,” Bucky swore just when Y/n thought they were getting to the end.

“What?”

“It’s really dark out,” Bucky answered. “Why did they think this was a good idea, and why are we the last ones?”

“Bucky, I’m going to ask nicely that you don’t leave me behind again. I’m directionally challenged at the best of times. And being lost in a maze will almost certainly send me into a panic attack,” she spewed out information that he probably didn’t need.

“Why are you so afraid that I’m just going to leave you alone in a dark maze?”

Y/n hesitated. “It’s happened before.”

“You keep saying that, I have never -”

“Not you,” she cut him off.

He went quiet again. And although she knew that he wasn’t going to leave him, she couldn’t help herself from -

“Bucky?”

“I’m still here,” he said softly. “Fuck it.”

He grabbed her hand and began leading her through the maze. The twists and turns were going at a rate that left her confused, but the quicker they got, the better. 

Bucky’s hands were big and warm. Y/n didn’t know if he did it on purpose or if was a habit he’d picked up somewhere, but his thumb rubbed comforting circles on the back of her hand. Somehow, his hand had callouses and was soft. 

That thought brought up a funny story about one of her friends from college, who, when commenting on the softness of a boy’s hands, blurted that he must masturbate a lot.

Bucky dropped her hand, and she instantly missed its warmth.

“Ok,” he said before she could ask what was happening, “I think we’re here.”

For a split second, Y/n was disappointed that he wasn’t still holding her hand. Then she cast the thought from her mind and reminded herself exactly who Bucky Barnes was. 

They exited the maze, and Y/n finally took off the blindfold.

“Good job, you two,” Coulson said as he walked towards them, “I’m pretty sure that’s the fastest time yet.”

Bucky looked at Y/n and winked. His smug expression made her want to slap him. She groaned and walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

There was the main gathering hall that was also the mess hall, and as it would turn out where they were having a ‘party’ (Coulson’s words) after dinner Friday night. And by party, he meant there would be music and drinks. After some fussing form someone in HR, there were also snacks, but someone had to run out and get them.

Y/n promised Natasha that she would stay for a few drinks, but what she really wanted to do was go sit somewhere quiet and read. If Wanda had heard her say that, she would point out that Y/n was acting like reading could be her one and only personality trait.

Which was sometimes true. But she also had a secret superpower of being able to sneak away from parties mostly undetected. A power that she’d finally used to make her way to the beach.

There was a fire pit with a few chairs around it. Y/n added some wood and lit the fire. She sat there in silence, staring at the stars. The sweatshirt she wore didn’t have a pouch or a hood, but the fire kept her warm enough.

So she wasn’t actually reading, but she would get around to it. But here on the beach where the lights from the human world were scarce, the stars were bright, and she could see more than she could in the city.

“Shouldn’t you be at the party?”

Jesus, how was this guy everywhere? Y/n looked up at Bucky, looking down at her with a smile on his face. It wasn’t a smirk or smug in any way—just a smile. In the light of the fire, he looked good. There wasn’t a better word for it other than good.

His smile was irritatingly white and straight. 

“Mind if I sit?” He gestured to the chair next to her.

“Doesn’t really matter, does it? You’d sit even if I said yes,” she pointed out.

He h’mmed as he plopped down in the chair. 

“I thought for sure you’d be reading,” he commented off-handedly.

“Well, sometimes I like looking at the stars, and I can’t look at the stars while I’m reading, can I?”

“If you listened to audiobooks, you could,” he pointed out.

“Oh my god,” Y/n said with her head still tilted towards the sky, “You’re a genius, I should totally do that.”

“But it wasn’t a bad idea -”

“I know,” she conceded, “Audiobooks are always so stiff. I like podcasts better because it feels more like listening in on a conversation.”

Buck stood and plucked the book from her lap.

“Hey!” Y/n looked at him as he said,

“What are you reading?” He squints at the title. “Children of blood and bone?” He gasped and looked at her. “From a competing publishing company? Wait until Coulson and Hill find out.”

“Ha, ha,” she stood and grabbed her book back. “It’s a good book. And before you say anything about ready YA books -”

“Let me know when you finish it.” She glared at him. “And then let me know when you get done with book two, I have thoughts.”

“You’ve read it?” She asked, tucking her feet under herself. “You don’t look like the kind of person to read YA novels. And you like one direction. If I weren’t so against the patriarchy, I’d make a joke about how your manhood is in danger of being taken away -”

“But?” Bucky smiled.

“But,” she continued but stopped herself.

“It’s kind of sexy, right?”

And there it was the cockiness. “Why are you being nice? Well, nicer.”

“I’m a nice person,” he insisted.

Y/n laughed; at first, it was fake, then it became uncontrollable. Her laughter died down to a giggle, and Bucky was giving her a look that she couldn’t quite put a name to.

“You might be able to be nice, but you’re not a nice person,” she told him.

“Says who?”

“You’re constantly yelling at my intern -”

“Our intern, and that’s what interns are for,” he said. 

“You were incredibly rude to me our first day together,” she said. Bucky opened his mouth, but she cut him off, “And you haven’t been much nicer since. It’s weird when you’re nice. It feels like you want something from me. Do you want something from me?”

“What if I just want friendship from you?”

Y/n furrowed her brow. 

“You don’t think we can be friends?” He asked.

“I don’t even know what that would look like. Besides, you would lose your edge if you weren’t fighting with me constantly. And then you would fall even further behind me than you already are.” She grinned at him.

“I supposed you’re right,” he said the words, but it didn’t sound like he meant them. He sank back into his chair. “So, you like space?”

“I’m trying to read.”

“Alright, go ahead and read. But we put our hatred towards each other on hold when you finish that book because I still want to talk to you about it.”

“I could get further along in this book if you were quiet,” she sang.

He chuckled, but he kept quiet. Y/n read as she read, she realized that she didn’t hate Bucky’s presence as much as normal.

* * *

“I think you like him,” Natasha said. She and Y/n laid in their beds. Natasha was slightly drunk, ok, more than slightly. “I think that you really like him, but you hide it behind hatred because you wouldn’t know how to handle rejection or acceptance.”

Y/n sat up in her bed, completely shocked. The rejection comment was expected, the acceptance one surprising and scarily accurate, but not when it came to Bucky Barnes.

“I do not like Bucky Barnes, I have no comment for the other accusation,” Y/n said as she settled back into her bed.

“Fine, you might not like him, but he likes you,” Natasha sang.

“You’re drunk, you’re tired, and you don’t know what you’re saying,” Y/n shook her head.

There was a lull, Y/n could hear the crickets outside. The silence lasted so long that Y/n started to drift off. She was almost entirely asleep when Natasha spoke,

“Bucky and I are friends, I know what I’m talking about,” she whispered.

Y/n was sure she was dreaming when Nat said it.


	6. Chapter 6

Y/n stood next to Bucky in the mess hall. Coulson was explaining the next game. They were supposed to build a table out of paper.

“They did this in New Girl,” Y/n muttered.

Natasha, who was standing on the other side of her with Jill, snorted.

“What?” Bucky asked. Thank god, if he’d gotten that reference, Y/n wasn’t sure what she would’ve done.

“The building a table is part of a marriage conference that they go to in New Girl,” Y/n explained.

“You think that Maria stole this idea from a TV show?” Bucky asked.

“No, I think Coulson stole this idea from a TV show,” Y/n corrected, and Natasha let out a squeak of laughter.

The stacks of paper were passed around, and Y/n stood across from Bucky, who stared at the paper.

Neither of them talked as they started rolling up the paper and taping it together. Y/n couldn’t tell if he was trying to take it seriously or not, and she didn’t really want to ask him in case he was. But normally, he was competitive, so she wasn’t sure why he would be any different with this game; however, he wasn’t yelling at her.

He paused for a moment.

“Yesterday, you kept saying ‘it’s happened before’ in the maze -” 

_ Shit. _

“- what did you mean by that?” He looked at her.

She froze. She should’ve known that he would find a time to bring this up, but she had hoped that he would wait until she could storm away or something to that effect.

“I think you can guess what it means,” Y/n said.

“That’s is?” He asked incredulously.

Y/n scoffed. “What do you want me to say, Barnes? That one time in high school, the popular boy asked me out, took me to a corn maze, led me to a dead-end told me to close my eyes, and I thought he was going to kiss me. Little stupid sixteen-year-old me thought she was going to get her first kiss, so she closed her eyes. And the next thing I knew, I was standing alone in a corn maze, and the sun was setting.”

“Why would -”

“Then,” she continued ignoring his half question, “I spent a long time stumbling through the maze, only barely making it out before the pumpkin patch closed. And apparently, the boy’s friend group was in on the joke, so school on Monday was just as fun.”

Bucky stared at her with pity in his eyes; he opened his mouth, but she cut him off again. 

“Ya know what, I’m sorry if you really wanted that prize but I can’t,” Y/n put down her supplies and walked out of the room.

Y/n barely made it halfway to her cabin before Bucky grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him.

“Hey,” Bucky said softly. His brows drawn together, and his frown only deepened when he saw the tears in Y/n’s eyes. She scolded herself for crying about it; she was over it. She’d gotten over it years ago. That incident was no longer something that bothered her. Or so she thought.

Bucky’s hand slid up to her upper arm. “Anyone who leaves you in the middle of a corn maze, anyone who leaves you at all, is an idiot and doesn’t deserve your time or energy.”

He dropped his hand and walked away. 

She stood there staring after him in utter disbelief.  _ What the fuck was that? _

* * *

Bags were packed, and everyone had agreed that it would be easier to take the same cars back rather than try and figure out new rides. And Y/n hadn’t put up a fight at all, which would’ve been surprising if that weekend had gone differently. But it hadn’t, and Y/n wondered if she and Bucky were becoming friends or if this was something that would disappear before work on Monday. She honestly didn’t know which option she was hoping for.

Once they were on the road, Bucky unlocked his phone and passed it to Y/n.

“Why don’t you DJ,” he said.

Y/n scrolled through his Spotify, hoping to expose his most embarrassing song choices, but then she came across the perfect fall song and couldn’t not play it. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bucky’s mouth twitch into a smile.

“Hey, boss?” Peter asked.

“You’re going to have to be more specific, Parker. Which of us are you talking to?” Y/n said as she looked for songs to queue.

“He’s talking to you, sunflower.” There was that stupid nickname again. “Parker doesn’t call me boss. Do ya, kid? Do you not work for me too?”

Peter started stumbling over his words.

“Leave the kid alone,” Y/n scolded Bucky. “What’s up, Parker?”

“On Friday, I have to leave early -”

“That’s fine, we stole this weekend from you, so go ahead and take the day off,” she told him.

“Hi, I’m also your boss, kid,” Bucky pointed out, “Why didn’t you ask me?”

Peter fell silent. Y/n turned to glare at Bucky. He looked like he was teasing, and she remembered a few days ago when Bucky told her that he thought Peter was in love with her.

She turned around in her seat and looked at Peter. “Do you need a ride home? I’m sure Barnes would be more than happy to -”

“Oh no, it’s ok. I can just take the bus.”

“Parker, you’re already in my car. I’ll drop you off before I take your boss home,” Bucky grinned.

Y/n stared at Bucky’s profile. She knew Peter could still hear her, but she whispered to Bucky anyway, “I thought I told you to be nice.”

“I’m being friendly,” he whispered back.

“You ‘being friendly’ is not the same as you being nice. I’m half convinced you don’t know how to be friendly based on the fact that you don’t have any friends.”

Bucky scoffed. “I have friends!”

Y/n rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair. For a while, the music was the only sound in the car.

“Wait, why are you taking me home? Just drop me off at work,” she said.

“That doesn’t make any sense. Will you just shut up and let me take you home. For fuck’s sake. The world won’t end because I do something nice for you.”

“So aggressive,” she teased, and Bucky sighed. But neither said anything more on the matter.

* * *

Bucky had dropped off Peter and was on his way to Y/n’s place. She was trying to busy herself by swiping on Tinder. So far, she’d gotten a few matches, but only one was talking to her. She’d downloaded it because the threat of the reunion still loomed over her. At this point, she just needed someone to take, so she didn’t go alone. 

The guy she was talking to, who was named Brock, wanted to take her on a date. He was good looking, not super hot, but she doubted she could do better on that app. They made plans for Wednesday as Bucky parked in front of her building.

“Thank you for the ride,” she said as she got out of the car.

He followed suit, meeting her at the trunk.

“If you’re about to do the gentlemanly thing and offer to carry my bags upstairs, don’t,” she told him, “there’s only so many niceties I can take from you.”

“Oh, so now I can’t be nice to you?” He asked as she pulled her bags from the trunk and flung them over her shoulder. “We could be friends.”

“You were the one who was a dick to me when we first met and then continued to be a dick afterward.” She raised her eyebrows at him, and he clicked his tongue. “I’ll see ya at work.”


	7. Chapter 7

The knowledge that the week was going to be a stressful one hit her bright and early Monday morning when she first walked in.

Natasha had called Y/n’s office phone with gossip. Typically Y/n was a sucker for gossip, but this particular piece gave Y/n anxiety.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard this or what’s happening, but,” Natasha said in place of a greeting, “I heard a rumor. And I want you to remember that this is just a rumor and could be false. But I heard that they’re going to post a job posting for a new proofreader.”

About three seconds after that reveal, Y/n hastily hung up the phone. If they were looking for a new proofreader, that meant one of two things. Number one, they were going to expand, and Y/n’s job was safe. Or, number two (the one that was the cause of the anxiety), there was going to be an opening for either her or Bucky’s jobs.

Then on Tuesday, she got an email signed by both Coulson and Maria saying they wanted a meeting on Friday. So all week she was stressed. The only part of the week that wasn’t bad was the date. Brock was surprisingly sweet for a guy that looked like he would’ve 100% bullied her in high school.

Friday came at an alarming rate. And as it turned out, Bucky had the same meeting with Y/n. This should’ve alleviated her nerves, but it only added to them.

“You need to breathe, they’re not going to fire you,” Bucky told her as they sat outside the conference room.

“I am breathing,” she lied. Her breathing was erratic, and she sounded a little like a dying car. “And you don’t know that, what if I did something so horrible that they’re just gonna boot me.”

“Have you done anything recently that would warrant termination?” Bucky asked calmly.

She glared at him. “If I knew I wouldn’t be freaking out, would I?”

“Y/n, Bucky,” Coulson called from the doorway. “Come on in.”

Y/n pulled herself together in record time and walked through the door. She and Bucky sat across from their bosses. Y/n could see Bucky flexing his left hand as if he were in pain, but this wasn’t the place to ask about it.

“Y/n, you can stop freaking out,” Maria told her, “you’re not losing your job.”

She could’ve let out a sob right then and there; she settled for sigh instead.

“We have a project for the two of you -” Coulson continued. The way that those two were in sync was a little creepy at times.

“We want you two to work together and do a mock-up for this manuscript,” Maria spoke. While Coulson put two manilla envelopes on the table.

“You will have to work together, and should we like the finished product -” 

“The both of you will be promoted to editors,” after Maria spoke those words, Y/n was only half paying attention through the rest of the meeting.

Editor, that’s only what she’s been wanting for forever. And now she had to work with Bucky. Again. It’s almost like last weekend was a test for this, another test. How many tests were these two going to put her through?

_ Quit complaining, Y/n. You’re gonna be an editor. _

“You have until December 20th to complete this task, and you are welcome to use whatever resources you need from the company,” Maria said.

* * *

After the meeting, they walked back to their office.

“So,” Bucky said once the door was closed behind them, “I think we should take this weekend to read the book and brainstorm our own ideas and then figure out which ones we like best on Monday.”

Y/n nodded. “Try not to only come up with dumb ideas.”

It was meant to come off as a joke, but she was still coming down from her anxiety high. So it was much harsher than she meant it to be. Or maybe it was the fact that they both had a job riding on this that forced them back into old habits.

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you when you’re the one who suggested a title for a book that was already being used by another author with us,” Bucky said.

“That was years ago, and it was the middle of the night!” Y/n yelled.

“Doesn’t matter. It was still a dumb idea!”

“Oh, and how is that any worse than your idea to send a prospective author things that she was allergic to. Every gift you suggested could’ve killed her or made her sick,” she sneered.

“Oh forgive me, for not realizing that she was allergic to everything under the sun and then some,” Bucky waved his arms dramatically.

Y/n recognized that it was a dumb fight. But falling into a familiar feeling of arguing with Bucky was welcome after the week she’d had.

“I am not missing out on this promotion because you can’t pull your head out of your ass for three minutes,” Y/n said.

“I can’t pull my head out of my ass? How would you know where my head is when you’re is stuck so far up your ass you could eat your own stomach?” 

“Oh ho, he’s got jokes! Too bad your editorial ideas aren’t as original as them!”

They were standing toe to toe, chests heaving, unwilling to break eye contact with one another. If this had been a normal day, that would’ve been the moment when Peter politely knocked on the door to ask one of them a question. And Y/n kept waiting for that to happen before she remembered that Peter had the day off.

Meaning one of them was going to have to break first. And it wasn’t going to be her. As the minutes passed, she lost some of the fire in her chest, and her body relaxed.

“Awe, sunflower, are you getting lost in my eyes?” Bucky had a smug grin on his face, and Y/n wanted nothing more than to smack it off. “I wonder how long you’ve had this burning desire for me.”

“In your dreams, Barnes.”

“But then you wouldn’t get the full Bucky Barnes experience,” his grin widened.

“Careful, you’re toeing a very dangerous HR line.”

The good ol’ HR threat. A threat that they had both used countless times after an argument had possibly gotten out of hand. Neither of them had actually written a complaint, though. It hadn’t been used in a while, though, once again because Peter usually interrupted before it’d gotten that far.

Y/n hoped that they could convince him to stay, or at least she could. She would have to look into having him as her assistant when she became an editor. Hopefully, Bucky wouldn’t also ask him, but she wouldn’t let Bucky win that fight. And if they couldn’t get the kid to stay, she wasn’t sure how they would replace him.

Just as Y/n opened her mouth to say something else, a knock came at the door.

“Hey, Y/n? Are we still going for drinks?” Natasha’s voice was muffled by the door.

“Yeah,” Y/n called back, still not looking away from Bucky. “Just let me grab my coat.”

There was a brief pause before Y/n turned away and grabbed her things.


	8. Chapter 8

Bucky ran after Y/n, slipping through the elevator doors before they closed. 

“What are you -”

Bucky pulled her into him. His hands gently cupped her face as he kissed her. She hesitated for a moment before she gripped his shirt and pulled his body flush against hers. He relaxed at her reciprocation.

This was not how he’d imagined kissing her for the first time. There were many different versions of that scenario. There were a few different ones that were how he’d hoped it happened. But this one was currently his favorite purely because it was actually happening.

Y/n’s hands slipped down to his ass and squeezed it.

Bucky pulled back a little to say, “That is inappropriate touching. I’m going straight to HR.”

Y/n chuckled. “You rush in here and kiss me with no warning. If anyone should go to HR, it’s me.”

“You’re right,” he breathed, his lips brushing against hers. Bucky walked them so that she was pressed against the wall. He lifted her onto the railing, and her legs wrapped around his waist. “Skip drinks. Come home with me.”

Y/n pulled him back for a kiss. He took that as a yes.

* * *

Bucky wasn’t sure how they ended up like this, but he wasn’t complaining. He was lying in his bed face down, completely nude. Y/n was nestled in between his legs, she gave his bare ass a quick squeeze. Her hands ran up his back, and he could feel her breasts as she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“Are you ready for me?” She cooed. He nodded rather pathetically. “Oh no, baby boy. I need to hear you say it.”

His cock twitched, and he groaned as he ground his hips into the mattress. 

Bucky knew that the scar on his left arm was on full display, and for the first time, he wasn’t self-conscious about it. He was completely enamored with the woman behind him.

“If you don’t answer me, I can’t give you what you want,” Y/n dragged her lips down from his ear to the nape of his neck. She gave him a gentle kiss that sent a shiver down his spine.

“Yes,” he whimpered.

He could feel her smile against his skin. “Good boy.”

Of course, of course, she’d pegged his praise kink right away. Goddamn, she was setting him on fire. He’d only done something like this once or twice before, but he would do it a million times more for her. For her, he’d give up all his control.

The sound of the cap for the tube of lube pulled him from his thoughts. Y/n’s fingers worked his hole, prepping him for her strap. 

“Y/n,” he begged. He gripped at the sheets, overcome with pleasure as she entered him.

“What is it, James?” She asked as she dragged her nails down his back.

He wasn’t the biggest fan of people using his given name, especially not in the bedroom. But as his name crossed her lips, he knew it was over for him.

“You can move,” he whispered. He knew she was smirking. He would be too if the roles were reversed.

Bucky jolted awake at the sound of his alarm.

“Damn it,” he whispered. He looked down at his damp sheets. “Damn it.”

His cock was still hard, and the thoughts of Y/n were still rolling around his mind.

He wasn’t going to be able to do anything else until he took care of himself, so he started stroking himself. Images of Y/n on top of him, riding him into oblivion, made his heart race as his hand sped up. 

He didn’t last longer than a few seconds. If he were to ever actually get that opportunity with Y/n, he wouldn’t last longer than that. He wouldn’t be surprised he came after barely entering her.

He wished he could lay in bed all day and ignore the shame, but he had to go to work.

Fuck, how was he supposed to face her at work?

* * *

Bucky was one lucky bastard. At least for the time being. He’d gotten to work before Y/n, which was probably the only good fortune he would be getting today. 

When Y/n finally walked into the office a few minutes later, Bucky kept his eyes on his computer screen. Barely nodding at her when she greeted him.

He had an entire weekend to have that goddamned sex dream, and his subconscious had waited until Sunday night to bless him with those images. 

And despite him only looking at his computer when she’d walked in, her outfit hadn’t gone unnoticed. A dress that only went down to her mid-thigh was tight around her torso but flowy around her waist. It accentuated her ass, which was not a thought he needed.

“Mr. Barnes!” Y/n’s voice snapped him back to reality.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ok?” She asked with a half-smile. Not trusting his voice, he nodded. “Ok, well. Did you have an opportunity to look over the manuscript?”

He had, but him focusing was not a task he was up for.

“Umm, yeah. But I have a few more ideas I’d like to flush out before we brainstorm -”

“That’s fine,” she said. She was being uncharacteristically lenient, but today was not the day to make fun of her for it. “I don’t have anything going on Thursday. We can start then if that works for you.”

“Yes,” he agreed instantaneously. She raised an eyebrow at him over her monitor but said nothing.

Y/n’s appearance (sans her outfit) finally registered in Bucky’s mind. He realized she had deviated from her usual makeup routine and had more dramatic eye makeup and a bright red lip color. Good god, this woman was trying to kill him.

He could just imagine that pretty little mouth - no, no, no, no,  _ NO _ .  _ Get it together, Barnes _ . He scolded himself. 

“Were you planning on asking Peter to stick around as your assistant after his internship is up?” Y/n asked.

Bucky inwardly groaned. Couldn’t she leave him alone just for today? 

“I hadn’t given it much thought, why were you?” 

“Yeah, I was going to offer. And if we both end up editors, then he can really only be one of our assistance,” Y/n shrugged. “Just something to think about.”

Which reminded him, he had to talk to Tony. He’d forgotten to do so at the ‘family’ dinner.

“I’ll stop bothering you,” Y/n said as if she were hurt by Bucky’s stand-offish behavior today.


	9. Chapter 9

Working with Bucky on their project was turning out to be much simpler than Y/n once thought. During the first half of the week, he’d been super sweet to her. Honestly, it had set her on edge. Then one Wednesday, he had a personality change and was back to being a dick.

Which was almost a relief, but Y/n would be lying if she said that she hadn’t enjoyed the softer side of Binky Barnes. She had taken to calling him Binky in her mind to distance herself from those unwelcome feelings. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t working.

And to top off this week, she’d had a surge of anxiety on Thursday night. It was messing with her stomach, and when she woke up Friday morning, she didn’t feel much better. 

Y/n’s car had finally escaped Carol’s grasp and was sitting in her building's garage. But Y/n realized that walking made her feel like she was exercising daily, so she felt less guilty about lounging on the couch the rest of the time.

The smart thing to do would’ve been to drive her car, especially since it was pouring down rain. But she knew that if she’d even tried to get into any moving vehicle, she would’ve gotten car sick. She had this notion that if she got fresh air, she would feel better. It was just a minor stomach ache, after all. 

Her rain jacket that had been a gift from her parents had done nothing in the rainstorm. Neither had the fresh air. Her stomach was still uneasy.

Her outfit clung to every nook and cranny of her body, not leaving much to the imagination. Little baby hairs that had escaped their cages were now glued to her face. And she was dripping, legitimately dripping all over the floor.

As she entered the building, she had a thought. A troubling thought, she could risk getting motion sickness in the elevator that would last a few seconds, a minute at most. Or she could walk up the stairs, but who knows how long that would take.

Elevator it was then. She walked into an empty one hoping that she would get to suffer alone. (She was always extremely grumpy when she got sick.) But she wasn’t ill. It was just anxiety. 

Just as the doors started to close, Bucky slid through them.  _ Damn it _ .

“Hey,” he greeted, not looking up from his phone. Y/n responded with a nod.

The elevator jolted into motion, and she almost heaved right then and there. She held her fist over her mouth and closed her eyes. 

“Are you ok?” He asked, looking over at her. 

Y/n waved him off. She was uncomfortable; her clothes were still soaking. (Not that she thought they would magically dry between entering the building and the elevator, but one could dream.) All she wanted to do was rip them off and put on her biggest and comfy-est t-shirt then crawl into bed. Ok, so maybe she should’ve stayed at home.

He closed the distance between them. She felt his hand, which was freezing, against her forehead.

“Your hand is cold,” she whined.

“No. You're just hot,” Bucky said.

“Stop trying to get in my pants, Binky.” His hand stiffened against her forehead and was pulled away.

“I meant your temperature, you’re burning up. Did you walk here in the rain?”

Y/n swallowed, attempting to keep the bile from coming up. “No, I rode my roller skates.”

“I highly doubt you would’ve even been able to get the skates on. Go home, you're sick.”

The doors opened with a soft  _ ding _ , and Y/n was off the elevator in a flash. She walked to her office with her head held high, ignoring the looks she got from her co-workers. They were probably staring at her because she was sopping wet, but Y/n felt like they could sense her sickness.

No, she was not sick.

When she was finally safe in her office, she slumped down into her chair.

“You need to go home,” Bucky repeated. 

“I have a deadline,” she paused, “today that I can’t miss.”

“How long will it take you to finish it?”

Y/n didn’t answer. She was focused on getting the draft edited and sent off.

Luckily the edits were mostly done, so she finished the draft before noon. Before she got the chance to send it, she pulled her trashcan into her lap and vomited.

A hand started rubbing small circles on her back. 

“Let me take you home,” Bucky whispered. 

With no more fight in her, she sent the manuscript to Natasha and let Bucky help her out of her chair. She pulled away from him just as someone knocked at their office door.

Coulson entered after Bucky told him to. “I have a -” Coulson took one look at Y/n and froze, “Good God, Y/n, are you ok?”

“She appears to be a little sick, so I was going to take her home. All her work is done for the day -”

“Yes, of course,” Coulson nodded and stepped out of their way, “you can take the rest of the day too, Barnes.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Y/n walked through the office space, this time a little less confidently, with Bucky right behind her. 

Once in the elevator, Y/n leaned most of her body weight on the railing. There were small black dots in her vision and her knees buckled beneath her. Bucky was quick to catch her before she could fall to the ground; he then lifted her into his arms.

She mumbled something about being too heavy for Bucky to carry, his only response was for her to shut up. Letting herself relax in his arms and nuzzled her face into his neck. 

“You smell good,” she mumbled. 

Bucky’s chest rumbled with laughter. “I’m surprised that my smell isn’t making you nauseous.”

“Did you not shower today or something?”

“You’re halfway to death and still making fun of me,” he chuckled.

“Someone has to; if I don’t, your head will get too big, and you’ll be insufferable.”

“I think you’ll be pleased to know that you are not the only one who thinks that,” he told her. She hummed into his chest.

* * *

Y/n must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing that registered was Bucky helping her out of the car and into her building. He tried to pick her up, but she was being stubborn and walked with Bucky hot on her heels. 

He stood by patiently while she fumbled with her keys. Bucky gently grabbed the keys from her hand.

“I can do it,” she whispered.

“Sunflower,” he chuckled.

She froze and looked at him. “You haven’t called me that all week. Are you mad at me? Did I do something to make you mad at me? Because I’m sorry if I did. I don’t really hate you.”

He opened the door, and she walked in. Slowly, she melted to the floor, ready to just sleep there.

“No, no, no,” Bucky said, helping her to her feet. “You need to get out of those clothes and into something dry before you catch a cold on top of the flu.”

“I don’t have the flu.”

“Sunflower -” Bucky walked with her as she half led him to her bedroom.

“You never answered my question,” she said. Without thinking about it, she stripped down to her underwear.

“Oh my god,” Bucky quickly turned his back to her. “You can’t just take off your clothes like that.”

“I’m in my own house and -” she opened and closed her drawers. She finally found a new change of panties and her comfy shirt. After changing, she walked over to her bed. “You’re avoiding my question.”

“No, I’m not mad at you,” he said. 

“Bucky, come here,” Y/n ordered. Once he was standing next to her bed, she opened an eye to look at him. “Will you stay?”

“Oh, I don’t trust you not to do anything stupid,” Bucky reached out with his right hand and gently pressed it to her forehead. “Do you have a thermometer?”

An unbidden giggle escaped her lips. “My mom made me my very own first aid kit when I moved here. It’s in the bathroom under the sink.” 

Bucky’s thumb stroked her eyebrow before he walked away.

“Is your first aid kit in a little mermaid lunch box?” He called from the bathroom. She mumbled something into her pillow, not even she knew what she was trying to say. “Here.”

He held out the thermometer for her. 

“Will you do it? Just stick it in my armpit,” she groaned.

“Believe it or not, sunflower, I’ve taken someone’s temperature before,” He said.

“Some people are a stick it in the mouth kind of people. I just don’t want you to put my armpit thermometer in my mouth.”

“Noted.” He hesitated, then Y/n pulled at her neckline to give him access to her pit. 

“I’m hungry.”

“Probably because you’ve puked up everything you’ve eaten,” pulled the thermometer from her after it beeped. “But you’ll have to wait until you don’t dry heave for a few hours. You are currently at 103. If you go above that, I’m taking you to the doctor’s.”

Y/n grabbed his hand, and he stilled. She pulled him closer to him. Getting the hint, he took off his shoes.

“You don’t have to wear your pants,” she said. “Unless you’re going commando. I don’t want your dick out ready to play.”

He ignored her and climbed onto her bed and sat next to her. He didn’t get under the covers at all, nor did he lay down.


	10. Chapter 10

The next time Y/n opened her eyes, there was an obscenely beautiful black man with his face directly in front of her. She squinted at him.

“How are you feeling?” The strange man asked.

“Like everything is on fire,” she answered, “Who are you?”

“I’m Sam. I’m a doctor.”

“What kind of doctor?” Y/n flipped onto her back. “Because with my luck, you’re some kind of ass doctor.”

She hadn’t realized that doctors still did house calls.

“I’m a physician, so I’m equipped to handle almost everything. So no, I don’t specialize in asses. But I could make an exception for yours.” Sam smiled at her.

“Even if I wasn’t sick, that line would make me gag.” Speaking of which, her stomach lurched again.

“C’mon, Sunflower,” Bucky spoke from her other side. He was still on the bed, his hand now on her hairline. His thumb was gently stroking her forehead. “Yout gotta sit up so he can check you out.”

“Oh, so he can also specialize in my boobs?” Y/n teased as she sat up.

“Making jokes even with a fever of 104,” Sam said, nodding, “I like this one, Barnes.”

“Stop flirting with your patient,” Bucky grumbled. 

Sam took her temperature and looked at her throat. While he was doing all this, Y/n’s eyes were trained on Bucky. His eyes were bouncing between her and Sam, he never actually made eye contact with her, but he looked at her.

As she looked, no, gazed at him. Because that’s what she was doing, gazing up at him like a lovesick fool. And she was decidedly not in love, she was however sick. But she was trying to remember why he called her sunflower. He’d been doing it since their first week together.

Had he seen the tattoo on her upper thigh? No, there hadn’t been an opportunity for that. Except for last night. This morning? When had she gone home from work?

“What day is it?” She asked, completely forgetting about her other question. She laid back down, not having the strength to sit up for much longer.

“It’s still Friday,” Bucky answered.

She opened her mouth to make a snarky remark but closed it and gagged again.

“Bucky claims that your temp spiked to 104, but it’s dropped back to a cool 102. So unless it spikes again and stays at 104 for longer than thirty minutes, you should be fine,” Sam said. “Barnes, flush her with fluids. Don’t let her die from dehydration.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Bucky said. He was obviously trying to rush him out the door, but Doctor Sam wasn’t having it.

Sam turned to Y/n smiling. “Give me a call once you’re better. I’ll take you to a fancy restaurant and let you order anything off the menu.”

“Goodbye, Samuel!” Bucky ordered.

“Gesh, I’m going.” Sam sent her a wink over his shoulder. “Tony says to stop ignoring his calls!”

“Tell him I’m not ignoring them, I’m a little busy. And he doesn’t have to call me all the time.”

The door slammed, and Bucky turned his attention to Y/n again. This time, he made eye contact with her.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Better, but I’m cold again.”

“That would be the fever,” Bucky sighed. He sank down, so he was lying next to her. She snuggled into his right side, he stilled at the movement. He took a deep breath and unfroze. 

“Why do you call me sunflower? And why does Tony Stark ‘check-up’ on you? Are you some sort of genius?” She mumbled into his side.

“The first day we worked in the office together, there was a bouquet of sunflowers on your desk -”

“They were from my parents. Sunflowers are my favorite,” she whispered.

“Yeah, I know. The fact that your family sends them to you every year on your birthday or any other significant day kind of gave you away. And if that hadn’t been a giveaway, your tattoo would’ve clued me in.” She could hear the smile in his voice.

“How did you -” That’s when she realized that her shirt and sheets had been changed. “You’ve seen my boobies.”

“No, you changed your own shirt,” he chuckled, “You didn’t even wait for me to look away. Luckily, I have quick reflexes. But your little sunflower did peek out a few times. It’s cute.”

“Have you ever wanted to see my boobies?”

“Do you really want to know the answer to that? Because if I say yes, you will think I’m a pig who only ever thinks about women to sexualize them. On the flip side of that, if I say no, you might be offended that I wouldn’t want to see your bosom.”

“Well, knowing that you are the kind of person that says bosom, I’m leaning towards you saying no,” she chuckled.

“I just edited a romance novel. It was the first thing that came to mind that wasn’t tits,” Bucky said. Y/n laughed, a little obnoxiously for someone who was sick, but she couldn’t help it.

“Well, I forgive you for not saying tits while I’m all sweaty and gross.” She draped her arm across his stomach. “I’m sorry that I’m getting you all sweaty. And thank you for changing my sheets.”

“It’s no problem, sunflower. Now, go to sleep.”

“You’ll be here when I wake up?” Her body was exhausted, her eyes already closed.

“I’d never leave you,” he whispered, but Y/n wasn’t sure if she’d heard him correctly or if she would remember this when she woke up.

* * *

Y/n went in and out of consciousness. Oftentimes, Bucky was still there by her side. At one point, he’d changed into different clothes, not ones she recognized but definitely not the ones he’d worn to work on Friday.

There were a few times when Bucky hadn’t been in bed with her, but she heard him in the kitchen fussing about. He’d returned before she fell back asleep and made her take some sort of medicine and force-fed her broth. Ok, maybe he didn’t force-feed it to her, but there was absolutely him spoon-feeding her like an infant.

“I can feed myself, ya know,” she said. He made an oh-my-apologies-your-majesty face and held out the spoon for her. “No, I don’t want to.”

“Then quit complaining,” Bucky said. He returned to feeding her quietly. They sat there in silence; the only sound in the room was the occasional  _ clink _ of the spoon hitting the bowl. “When you called yourself unloveable. . . Do you believe that?”

“I have no proof that it’s wrong,” she wiped her chin of a dribble that almost ran down her neck, “and that was more about romantic love than any other type of love.”

Bucky stared at her after putting the now-empty bowl down. Y/n, who was feeling better, was still a little sick and still a rambler. So she stupidly opened her mouth so more words could fall out.

“That time I told you about the corn maze? It’s the one and only date I’ve ever been on, until recently. But I don’t really count that as a date, given the outcome. And no one’s ever tried to kiss me. Not that I haven’t kissed anyone, but it was never in a romantic sense. It was once or twice for a play. And then once while I was drunk at a party, and that was the quickest of pecks.” She gasped, preparing herself to continue.

“Am I not attractive enough? I know I’m not a classic beauty or very hot. . . I just want to be desired by someone.” Y/n looked down at her lap. She was unable to look at him; she couldn’t risk the pity that was undoubtedly in his eyes. Hit with another wave of exhaustion, she laid back down, mumbling thanks to Bucky before drifting back to sleep.

* * *

Being asleep while sick had always been weird for Y/n. It was almost as if she was never truly asleep for most of it, at least after the first day.

Which is why she wasn’t sure it had happened. It was definitely a dream, but a small part of her had hoped it was real.

“I think you’re beautiful and very desirable. I don’t get how you’ve gone this long, thinking that no one will ever love you the way you want to be loved. It blows my mind that no one has even tried.” Bucky’s fingers lightly traced shapes across her arm that was still over his stomach. Or it had returned to his stomach. In her dream, and probably in real life as well, she pressed herself closer to him. “One of these days I’m going to have to tell you that.”


	11. Chapter 11

Sunday morning, the fever broke, and Y/n was able to keep food down. Bucky stuck around until noon before she forced him out of the apartment. She didn’t like that he’d seen her in such a vulnerable state, it gave him too much power in their relationship, and Y/n was all about balance.

However, she did thank him, and she would thank him again when she saw him at work. But today was Sunday, and she had half a day of her weekend left. Did she spend that time relaxing and enjoying what little was left of her weekend? No. She was working on her proposal for the project she was working on with Bucky. 

Monday came and went, and Y/n did thank Bucky and apologized again. Bucky claimed that he wasn’t bothered by the change in plans, said otherwise he’d have to spend that time with his friends, and they were pissing him off. Y/n didn’t believe him, but she probably would have ended up in the hospital for dehydration had he not been there.

* * *

“Hey, boss?” Peter stuck his head in the doorway.

“Come on in, Peter.” Y/n turned her attention away from the computer and looked at the boy. “What’s up?”

“So -” he said slowly.

“You found another job, didn’t you?”

Peter grimaced then nodded. “Yeah -” Y/n sighed, “But I have a friend, her name is Michelle, and she loves books, and I told her that there would be a job opening soon. So I have her resume and cover letter here ready for you -”

While Peter was running at a million miles an hour, Bucky had walked over to his desk. 

“And she’s a really hard worker, and I think you’d really like her!”

“Peter,” Y/n cut him off, “hand me her stuff, and I’ll give her a call.”

Despite not meaning right at that second, Peter rushed back to his desk and returned in a flash. Deciding not to make fun of him, she simply thanked him.

“So, where’s your new job?”

Peter rocked onto his toes; his smile widened to an almost creepy degree. “Stark industries! I don’t know what happened, but I got a call a few days ago to go in for an interview. I thought I was gonna get someone from HR but  _ the _ Tony Stark.”

A smile slowly appeared on Y/n’s face, “Well, I can’t exactly be upset that you’re following your dream, can I?”

She was slightly surprised when Peter threw his arms around her, but she hugged him back nonetheless.

“But I don’t start there until the first of November,” Peter said as he pulled away, “So I am still yours until then.”

“Well then, go get me a dozen doughnuts,” she said, completely teasing.

But before she could remind him that she was joking, he was out the door.

“And you say I abuse my power,” Bucky muttered.

Y/n smiled at him while flipping him the bird.

* * *

Y/n had only been on a few dates with Brock, and while he was a nice enough dude, she got an odd vibe from him. She was fully aware that she didn’t have any real experience with her own relationships. But her intuition was the one thing that had never let her down.

She sat down for her most recent date with Brock; instantly there was a pit in her stomach. And as Brock continued to talk, she retreated deeper and deeper inside herself. There was this overwhelming sense that if she didn’t get out of there soon, she never would. 

But Brock was talking about himself nonstop, about his work and how he was the best at his job, and how he was a shoo-in for a promotion coming up. He never once stopped talking about himself, nor did it even cross his mind to ask her anything about her day. Or week. Now that she was thinking about it, he never went out of his way to ask her a question about herself.

And she had still liked him? He had sold himself so well and been so charming that she hadn’t realized that he didn’t care at all about what was going on in her life. So obviously, he was a serial killer. Ok, that might be an overreaction, but she’d listen to too many true crime podcasts to be fooled by this clown.

At one point during the meal, she excused herself to the bathroom. Leaving early crossed her mind. Just slipping out while she was on her way to the bathroom, she couldn’t bring herself to do it because of the way she was raised. Oh, but she should have.

But she didn’t. So, she was less than surprised when Brock grabbed her. He spun her around and pressed her up against the wall. His breath assaulted her nostrils, making her gag a little. He had a predatory smile on his face as he looked at her.

“What are you doing?” The breath she let out was shaky, and her voice broke.

“Don’t play that game,” he said smugly, “I know you wanted me to follow you back here. I know that you want this.”

His fingers ran down her cheek as if he was caressing a lover. Slipping her hand into her bag, she hadn’t trusted Brock enough to leave at the table; she found her pepper spray quickly. And was even quicker about pulling it out and spraying Brock directly in the face.

Putting all the force she could behind it, she shoved him away from her. He stumbled backward and fell to the floor. Not giving him a second glance, she rushed away from him.

Tripping over her own feet, she finally made it out of the restaurant and onto the sidewalk. She had been too preoccupied to even think about the bill or how she might’ve looked crazy as she rushed out of the building.

Y/n walked down the street in a daze. 

She hadn’t realized that she was crying until she reached up to scratch her face. 

“Get it together, Y/n,” she whispered.

Her phone started ringing. She sent up a silent prayer, but she didn’t know what she was praying for. The name that lit up her screen was Bucky. For some reason, probably her illogical brain, which told her to just ignore what’d just happened to her, she swallowed her tears and answered the phone.

“Hello?” She willed her voice to not crack.

“Hey, I had a question about what you wanted to do about the cover design of that book, is now an ok time?” He paused for a millisecond. “Oh shit, you had a date tonight. I’m sorry -”

“Not, it’s fine,” she said, and her voice betrayed her.  _ You couldn’t keep it together for a minute? _

“Y/n, what’s wrong?”

Now that her mask had melted away, she started crying again. The answer that came out of her was incomplete and tearful.

“Send me your location; I’m coming to get you,” he said.

“Binky -” she hadn’t meant to call him that. It just slipped out.

“Don’t argue with me.” She didn’t. “Did you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“Mmhmm,” she said. After sharing her location, she put the phone back to her ear and simply listened to the background noise of him moving around.

Neither of them spoke. She stood there next to a street lamp, half-listening to Bucky, half paying attention to what was going on around her. 

A few minutes later, Bucky pulled up to the sidewalk.

Y/n didn’t expect Bucky to get out of his car. But he parked next to the sidewalk, illegally, and got out of his car. Y/n hung up the phone and put it back in her purse. Rushing around the car, he met her on the curb.

“Are you ok?” He placed his left hand on her arm while his right cupped her cheek and wiped her tears away. She nodded. “Sunflower -”

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

“Was it that douche you were on the date with?” Her silence seemed to be answer enough for him. “I’ll kill him.”

Y/n’s hand went to Bucky’s hand that was on her face. “No, will you just - will you take me home?”

Bucky pulled her into a hug and wrapped his arms around her shoulder. She squeezed his waist, not really wanting to let go.

“Of course,” he answered.

But now she was a little regretful that she’d even asked the question. Purely because she could’ve stayed in his arms a lot longer, his arms felt safe; _he_ felt safe. And that was a scary feeling.


	12. Chapter 12

Bucky drove silently the entire way. Not that Y/n had anything to say herself. She was staring out the window, thinking about how Bucky’s arms felt. 

Y/n had spent so much time protecting herself from the idea of liking someone else’s presence so much that she wanted more. It was different when it was her friends, they would be there for her, but they had their own lives and would leave her alone for a while. 

But with Bucky, it felt different. She was starting not to know how to talk to him like there was some sort of risk in being his friend. A silly thought, but she was a silly girl.

He parked the car and looked at her. She didn’t look away from her window.

“Y/n -”

“Ya know, whenever you call me that, I think you’re upset with me for some reason,” she whispered.

“I thought you hated it when I called you sunflower?” She turned to see a soft smile on the idiot’s face. 

Her hands suddenly became insanely interesting to her. “I don’t  _ hate _ the nickname. And even if I did hate it, it sounds weird when you don’t.”

“C’mon,” he said and got out of his car.

Y/n watched as he opened the door for her. “You don’t have to -”

“Sunflower, when are you going to learn -” he held out his hand for her (which she took), “That I was raised to be a gentleman? And that I’m the type of man who will walk you to your door.”

“Are you going to ask me again what happened tonight?” 

“You only have to tell me if you want to.”

Y/n opened her mouth a million times between the car and her front door; the worst was when they were in the elevator. She should’ve just told him, she wanted to tell him. If she didn’t tell him this was just going to fester in her chest all night.

They stopped at her door and Bucky smiled at her.

“Well -” he started.

“He tried to assault me,” she blurted and didn’t stop. “He followed me to the bathroom and claimed that I was leading him on. And then I pepper sprayed him and ran.”

“Do you want me to kill him for you?” She laughed at him, but when she looked up at him, she could tell he wasn’t joking.

“No, I think I’d prefer you to stay out of jail.”

“Sunflower,” his smirk returned at record speed, “are you starting to like me?”

“No, I have a promotion coming up that rides on me working well with you. And I can’t really work with you if you’re in jail, can I?”

He didn’t move but his smirk switched to just a smile. It looked like he was trying to find a reason to stay, and to Y/n’s surprise she wanted him to.

“Ya know, our relationship is unbalanced now,” she teased but she didn’t realize how much she meant the words.

“In what way?” His smile faulted a little.

“Well, you’ve seen me puke I don’t know how many times. And then tonight you saw me -” she hesitated, “Either way, you’ve seen me vulnerable way more than I’ve seen you that way. You’ve seen me at my lowest and now you have all the power and I don’t like that. So if tomorrow I’m a really big bitch to you, I’m sorry.”

“But you’re not being a bitch right now,” he pointed out.

“Well, I’m still grateful that you came to my rescue. So Ihave a little more clarity than I will tomorrow.”

“If you know this now, then can’t you just be nice tomorrow?”

“Now see, that would be logical. And I know myself well enough to know what a likely outcome of this is. But I also know that I’m not a big enough person to stop myself. And with that over sharing, goodnight, Bucky Barnes.” 

“Good night, Sunflower,” and with that he walked away.

* * *

Y/n flopped on her bed, phone to her ear.

“How ‘bout I murder him?” Carol said.

“I concur, let’s murder him,” Wanda agreed.

Y/n could’ve gone her whole life without introducing them. They only encouraged each other in a way that she didn’t really appreciate, mostly when it came to  _ her _ love life and whatnot. Her two friends loved to get involved with her lack of a social life.

A few minutes after Bucky left Y/n called Carol and Wanda and told them everything that had happened. Almost everything. She left out the major detail that was Bucky Barnes.

“Well, it would seem that you would both have to get in line,” Y/n muttered.

“Behind you?” Wanda asked hopefully.

“Nah, the most he got from me was pepper spray. I figure I don’t ever have to see him again so he can keep the memory of my pepper.”

“Then who do we have to stand behind?” Carol asked.

Y/n ignored the question. “How’s my favorite niece?”

“You ignore the question,” Carol said, not letting it go, “Which means that it’s someone you don’t want us to know that you like.”

Wanda gasped. “Is it Mr. Barnes? From your office?”

“Wait, the one you hate?” Carol asked, sounding much more interested in the conversation now. “Why did Bucky know about this?”

Y/n fell silent again.

“Y/n?” Wanda prompted.

“He may or may not have called right after it happened and then picked me up.”

Both Carol and Wanda were quiet and then erupted into a million questions. Y/n spent the rest of the night answering and dodging questions. Mostly dodging them.

* * *

Bucky sat in his car, the radio played softly in the background as the rain started to fall. He couldn’t get what Y/n said out of his head. 

Unbalanced. She had a point and Bucky would be lying if he said he wouldn’t feel the same. Especially with what had happened tonight. It was surprising she had been as open as she had been with him.

A part of him still wanted to find that Brock guy and beat him to a bloody pulp, but he was holding himself back. Which is why he was still in Y/n’s parking lot. He’d been sitting there for the past fifteen minutes knowing that if he had left he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself.

“Damn it Barnes. Why are you so hung up on a girl who just started being your friend? She’s hated you for years and now you’re losing your mind over her. Just drive home. It’s not as hard as you’re making it out to be.”

He finally started the car and drove home. As he drove he made up his mind that he would even the playing field tomorrow. His heart started racing, there was a reason he kept his secrets close to his chest.


	13. Chapter 13

Y/n rubbed her hands down her cheek as she stared at the manuscript. Whoever was trying to write this particular manuscript didn’t have even a grammar checker on their computer, apparently. This was burning her eyes.

She pushed up her glasses as she squinted at the words trying to figure out what this author was trying to say. 

The office door closed; Y/n turned around to see who’d done it to find Bucky there.

“Oh, good morning Mr. Barnes,” this was her trying not to be a bitch. It was coming off as super formal, but she was trying.

Bucky set down his things and pulled his chair next to her desk.

He sat there and stared at her for a moment.

“Ok, I’m trying not to be mean to you, but if you’re going to stare at me, you’re going to test my patience,” she said, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

“I’m gonna even the playing field.”

Y/n turned her whole body towards him. “Right now?”

“Yeah -” but he didn’t sound too sure about it.

“What about this? Tell me over lunch. So you don’t have to do it at work, and you can take all the time you need. You can also change your mind between now and then,” she offered. “Not to mention this author is trying to kill me.”

“Yeah, ok,” he hung his head. 

“Go get some work down.” Y/n nodded over to his computer, so he took his chair and got to work. 

Throughout the morning, Y/n snuck glances to Bucky, who also looked at her but turned away before she could see. He looked stressed over something. Probably whatever it was that he wanted to tell her, but she couldn’t help that he was only going to tell her (whatever it was) because of what she’d said last night.

And he shouldn’t if he felt forced to, and now she felt like an even bigger bitch than she would’ve had she simply ignored him today.

Y/n left her desk to take something up to Natasha, and when she got back to the office, she stood at Bucky’s desk.

“Is it lunchtime already?” He asked; he looked so nervous.

“Not yet, but,” she leaned against his desk, and he stiffened, “I don’t want you to do something purely because I complained that you’d seen more of me than I’d seen of you. So we can still go to lunch, but you don’t have to tell me anything. We’ll just go and have a meal.”

“You’ll sit through lunch with me? As in just two people sharing a meal?” A smile pulled at the corners of his lips.

“I mean, you’re my friend. I go to lunch with my friends. Unless you don’t want to be friends?”

“No, I - I do,” he answered.

“Try again at lunch, and maybe you’ll sound more convincing,” she teased with a wink. “Hurry up and finish; I’m hungry.”

* * *

They sat in the restaurant that Bucky had chosen. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a diner. But it was special to him.

It was a place he used to frequent during the late nights in college, so much so that the owners knew him and his friends by name. And knew his order by heart.

“Do you know what you want?” Bucky looked over his menu at Y/n. He didn’t really need to look at the menu; Stan would already know what he would be getting.

“Didn’t I ban you for life, Barnes?” Stan asked.

Speak of the devil. Bucky was still looking at Y/n when he smiled.

“You can’t ban your best and favorite customer.” Bucky turned his attention to Stan, who stared blankly back at him.

“I’m pretty sure I told you to never come back after the last late-night shenanigans,” Stan said, not changing his face at all.

“No,” Bucky corrected, “you told Sam to never come back. He was the one that was flirting with your daughter -”

“Careful.”

“I’m merely pointing out. That Sam is the one who was banned, not me, and I brought someone new,” Bucky looked at Y/n and winked, “and she is much more refined than Sammy boy, and probably tips better.”

“Not that it matters today,” Y/n said, “you’re paying.”

“Well, I’m an excellent tipper,” Bucky beamed even brighter than before.

“What would you like, Y/n?” Stan asked, pointedly ignoring Bucky.

“Can I get the plate of chili-cheese-fries? And a large soda, please?” Y/n looked up sweetly at Stan, who almost smiled.

Stan walked away. And Y/n looked back at Bucky. “Is he not going to take your order?”

“He knows what I get almost every time I come in. And I would’ve already told him if I’d wanted something different,” Bucky told her.

She started playing with a sugar packet, and Bucky studied her. He was still trying to figure out what he was going to do about what she’d said at the office. She had made such a big deal about balance the night before and had suddenly backpedaled. It was almost as if she was actually trying to be friends with him.

Which was another point. When she’d asked him if he wanted to be friends, he wanted to just answer no. Because he didn’t want to just be friends, he wanted more with her, but. . . Y/n seemed like the kind of person who would’ve hinted if she had any feelings that were in the slightest bit romantic for him. So, friends, they could be.

He also found that he  _ wanted _ to tell her his secrets. All of them. Right now. But he wouldn’t; he would wait. 

She looked up at him and glared a little. “What are you looking at?”

“I was trying to figure out if your sunflower is the only tattoo or if you have more,” he blurted, not realizing it was true until he said it. He didn’t mean for it to come out as sexual as it did. “I’m sorry, ignore that -”

“No, no, it’s ok. As of right now? No, but you haven’t seen me in a few weeks, have you?”

Bucky gaped at her for a moment. “Wh-w-what?”

Y/n h’mmed, she propped her head up on her hands leaning closer to him. He was doing his damnedest to not let his eyes drift south.

“Are you trying not to look at my boobs?” She asked shifting slightly to put them at a different angle.

“What makes you say that? We’re friends, I tend to not view my friends like that.” Or at least try, and in this case fail.

“So you’ve never had thoughts like that about me?”

His mind flashed to the dream from a few weeks ago, he pushed the thoughts away. Now was not the time. “I’m the kind of guy who says bosom remember? And if I recall, that’s a turn off for you.”

“I never said that.”

“So you like the word bosom?” He raised a brow.

“It’s not that,” she shrugged, sitting back in the booth.  _ Thank god _ . “You just seem like the kind of man to say ‘tits’. That just seems more like your kind of deal.”

It was Bucky’s turn to lean forward. He put his weight on his forearms and tilted his head.

“Do you imagine what words I use for dirty talk, sunflower?” He smirked. It was slight and only happened for a moment, but her eyes widened. “Is it only the words? Or is there more you let your mind wander towards?”

Y/n was shocked and hiding rather well, other than the slight eye reaction. Bucky was about to press for more when Stan walked up with their food. Bucky leaned away.

“Chili-cheese-fries and a large soda for the lady,” Stan said in a kinder voice than Bucky’d ever heard, “And a heart attack special with water for the hoodrat.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say about me!” Bucky called after him. Stan waved off Bucky. 

“So you're a hoodrat,” Y/n smirked.

Bucky frowned at his meal. “I wanted a rootbeer float.”

Y/n looked down at his food then up at Bucky and his figure. “You have a crazy metabolism don’t you? Because that might make me hate you again.”

“Only sometimes, and I do work out a bit. I’m not this buff because I sit around.” Bucky paused plopping a fry in his mouth. “I do want to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Y/n’s attention was mostly on her fries , as she stabbed at them with her fork.

“That thing I was going to tell you this morning. I want to tell you but I think I’m afraid you’ll see me differently,” Bucky shrugged, “and I don’t want to tell you here.”

Y/n chewed her food for a second, she didn’t fully swallow before covering her mouth with her hand and answering. “Well unless you’re like some sort of serial killer or something else horrid like that, I think we’ll be fine.”

“Being a serial killer is what would make you hate me?”

“Yeah,” she answered simply, “Unless you killed rapists. That would be a different story.”

“So you like a vigilante?” Bucky took a bite of his burger.

“I like protectors, I like people that make me feel safe. They don’t have to save me, but I like knowing that I don’t have to have my guard up all the time,” her eyes got wide. “Oooo, that’s way too deep for lunchtime.”

“Eat, we don’t have much longer before we need to get back.”

* * *

Bucky had just paid and they were getting out of their seats. Y/n glanced over at the door when she heard the bell rang.

“Shit,” she muttered. Her heart pounded against her ribs as if trying to escape her chest. She grabbed Bucky’s wrist and he turned to her.

“What is it?” He asked softly.

“Brock is here,” she whispered, looking away from the man in question but keeping him in her peripheral vision. 

Bucky whipped his head toward the door. He took a step toward the door but Y/n’s grip on his wrist tightened. He looked down at her hand then back up at her. She shook her head slowly hoping that he understood.

“Fine,” he said, but he didn’t sound happy about just leaving.

They were almost out the door when Brock decided to not just let them pass.

“Y/n,” he smirked at her. “You ran out so quickly on our date, we didn’t get a chance to finish what we’d started.”

The bell above the door rang again.

“Leave her alone,” Bucky spat at Brock. 

“Who are you? Her pet dog?” Brock barely gave Bucky a second of attention before looking back to Y/n. “Ya know, it’s not nice to just leave someone with the bill. I’d say you owe me an apology.”

“Y/n?” Y/n looked over to see Carol and her wife Maria standing at the door. 

Y/n looked back at Brock, ready to tell him to fuck off when a fist collided with Brock’s face and he wound up on the floor.

The whole diner went silent.

“She doesn’t owe you shit,” Bucky told the man who looked like he was about to pass out. Bucky looked up at Stan who was standing there with his hands on his hips. “Sorry.”

“Well, I like this one,” Carol whispered and Y/n glared at her.


End file.
